What I have learned from being in a long term relationship:
1. Don’t rush in before resolving your own preexisting issues. They become points of argument and interfere with intimacy via insecurity.
2. It’s okay to say no. In fact, your partner will respect you more for doing so rather then just letting yourself become a doormat. although some of us *me* are still learning what that means.
3. Like my grandparents said to my parents, it takes three things to make it work: Love, Trust and Respect. Loose an aspect of one, and the others take a hit too.
4. People won’t change unless they want it themselves and understand why it has to take place. BUT sometimes the person is unable to see it themselves and will require encouragement from whom is closest.
5. Forgive and forget. In most instances, the point of harm was unintentional. Don’t analyze old arguments mentally, or try to “get back” at the other person because of a past argument. The cycle of hurt is destructive to both involved. If the issue cannot be resolved at that time, let it go.
6. Like everything else in life, be proactive and don’t assume. Complacency and laziness is a deal breaker. If you don’t understand, ask. Ignoring the aspects of the relationship that irritate you leads to blowouts and embitterment.
7. Patience.
8. Be open to, and accept each others quirks. Being different from the other person is not a weakness but loosing your true self, is. Being different from one another means you look at things differently and that is an irreplaceable asset .
9. Have shared interests and individual interests, It keeps things fresh. Your time apart is what makes time together so special. Don’t forget about your friends. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone whom isn’t personally involved. Although… working out together is something every couple should do. It shows you care enough about yourself, and thus are able to care for the other person too.
10. Enjoy the little things; the quiet moments mean everything.
11. Don’t just talk about it, do it and show it.
